The Friday Catch Up

Hello friends!
This has been the longest streak we've gone without a Catch Up. July was just a whole lot between multiple over 30 degree days and the summer semester grind, I haven't had much left in the tank for marginalia musing. It's not because I didn't want to write, it's because I couldn't. I've been stuck in my head with being a decent reluctant academic, and living in a place that let a National park burn because of ignorance.

There's been more of nihilistic bend to current events lately, which has not done wonders for my mental health. Normally I'm cautiously optimistic. I am more than willing to endure when shitty things happen but lately I've felt more what's the point? What's the point if nothing is going change, if things keep slipping away, if some people keep both sides-ing arguments as if they have no impact on actual peoples lives. How much can someone endure before it becomes meaningless cruelty or transforms into pointless suffering? Why not trade in my morals or ethics for monetary gain, and temporary safety?

But then I get to see little glimpses of why I'm cautiously optimistic. Seeing my kids hear frogs for the first time in the city, the neglected backyard sunflowers growing in spite of the heat and my inattention, watching game industry workers unionize and being able to watch the stars when there's no clouds, no smoke to obstruct them. Change happens so slowly and doesn't seem to want to act when watched. I think this is where the nihilism and burn out comes from. We need to -I need to- see that what I'm doing is actually changing something but because it happens so slowly, it feels like it's all for nothing. It feels foolish, it feels shameful to throw my energy into something and have absolutely nothing to show for it.

This is a round about way of saying I feel more than a little ashamed I've let the Catch Up lapse for this long. I meant to come back sooner but I've felt ashamed to tell all of you the vibes have been bad. That it feels embarrassing my pet project gets thrown to the side with alarming frequency. So this is my attempt at being brave, and releasing a Catch Up that might be not as good as previous variants because I have to. Because this is some small change, and it matters.

What I've Been Watching

I didn't know I needed or wanted a Gwar version of I'm Just Ken but this kind of amazing. Metal is absolutely ridiculous sometimes.

Gojira at the opening ceremonies of the Olympics? Gojira playing the palace turned prison turned museum, where many nobles were held before they were beheaded during the French Revolution? Gojira singing the sans culottes variant of Ca Ira? Utter perfection.

AMC straight up released and produce a single from Lestat for season 3 of Interview With The Vampire. I am so excited for rock star Lestat. There's a bunch of little easter eggs or references to the series and the books in the video.

What I've Been Reading

My job requires me to be smart, or at least to appear that way, and I think I am but I also don’t know how to pronounce the word pecan properly. I say pee-can, but I think it’s probably peh-kan. Also, and more importantly, it doesn't matter. It all ends the same way.

Niko Stratis is so good at creative nonfiction, at writing about the mundane and pulling it into something more complex. I really enjoyed this piece by her in the last couple of weeks. There's something about the ephemeral nature of potential, about making a space a home, and music. The older I get, the more it seems like things loop back in different variants. ( It's called The Potential Hiding in Space)

I drive the long way home, just to see how the city is doing, and when I cross the avenue and enter the domain of Hurston Hill, I don’t feel the soft caress of returning to my power. I don’t have the sense of the bees, ticking softly in the back of my head. I can still sense the power flowing all around me, but I can’t hold it in my hand and shape it to my will, not anymore.
The whole city is mine to tend, now.

A follow up to St. Valentine, St. Abigail, St. Brigid by C. Polk at Reactor. This is Ivy, Angelica, Bay. I am so delighted by the magical realism universe Polk has created in these two stories and how real they feel. As always, bee magic stories are almost top tier for me.

Shaw brought the phone up to his face, his nose smudging sweat on the screen. It was real. God damn. That was genuine concern for himself—from himself. Something pinched inside his chest and a hiccup of a sob filled his mouth.
He felt tangible pride that this other version of him could care about someone else on a hard day, even if the person he cared about was technically him. He was caring about himself by caring about another self. The thought messed him up like crayons in a blender.

I'll Miss Myself over at Reactor by John Wiswell is a little bit of strange short story. The vibes are immaculate for this: apps and living in just one universe let alone a multiverse, are terrible.

Small Mammal Update

It's been hot and the cat ladies have been upset about it. Both Delphine and Yaga have taken to stomping on my keyboard to show their displeasure with the weather. As I have told Potema, I do not control the weather.
I'm kind of flattered that all four of the ladies believe I am powerful enough to control the weather. If I could, there'd be a whole lot more rain.

What I've Been Working On

I finished that short story I had told you all about. It wound up being 5k words and my prof told me that most publications like shorter works to publish. Which is fair. I guess.
I have been told by some friends that have read I could expand on it. So I might do that and see if it becomes a novella. Which would be neat.
Other than that, it's late summer. I have a final paper to write and edit and revise. The year is slipping by pretty quickly too. It's getting time to figure out what exactly I have to have done for this year to feel successful to me.
I think I'd like to have Cat Lake or Bergamot and Bygones done by the end of this year for it to be successful to me.

Do you ever start to an end of the year inventory of where you wanted to be vs where you are? Is that a thing? Could that be thing?